Of Parents and Children
Francis Bacon
THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears.They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other.Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter.They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate theremembrance of death. The perpetuity by generation iscommon to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And surely a manshall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which havesought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the careof posterity is most in them, that have no posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses,are most indulgent towards their children; beholding them as the continuance, not only of theirkind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.
The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal; andsometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father,but an ungracious son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of children,one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some thatare as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents,in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them withshifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come toplenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards the children, butnot heir purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and servants) increating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sortethto discord when they are men, and disturbeth families.
The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they beof the lump, they care not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, innature it is much a like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, ora kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents choose betimes, thevocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; andlet them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they willtake best to that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness of thechildren be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good,optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo. (1) Younger brothers are commonlyfortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherited.
(1) Choose the best; practice will make it pleasant and easy.
谈父母与子女
弗兰西斯•培根
为人父母者爱把喜乐忧惧都藏在心头，因为有些感受不能说，有些则不愿说。子女可使父母的辛劳苦中有乐，但也可使父母的不幸加深；子女会增加父母对生活的忧虑，但也会减轻他们对死亡的担忧。动物皆能生殖繁衍，代代不绝，但在身后留下声名，功德和伟业则为人之独有。世人的确可见，最伟大的功业历来都由一些无后嗣者所始创，这些人因没有后嗣再现他们的肉体，便努力实现其精神之再现，所以无后嗣者往往最关心后世。未立业而先成家者大都溺爱孩子，他们不仅把孩子视为种族的衍续，而且视为他们事业的继续，因此孩子于他们就如同创造的产物。
父母对子女的疼爱往往不甚均匀，而且有时还不甚恰当，尤其是母亲。正如所罗门曰：“儿子聪明其父开颜，儿子愚笨其母赧颜。”（1）世人可见，若一户人家有众多子女，那他们当中每每是最长者受到重视，最幼者受到纵容，居中者则在某种程度上受到忽略，然而屡屡都是这些居中者最有出息。父母在孩子的零花钱上吝啬有害无益，那会使孩子变得卑劣，学会欺诈哄骗，甚至结交不三不四的朋友，而且待将来有钱时会挥霍无度。所以最好的经验是：父母应保持其权威无损，但莫保持其钱包不瘪。（无论是父母、教师还是家仆）成年人都爱在孩子们小时候鼓励兄弟之间竞争，这种做法往往会造成他们成年之后失和，从而破坏家庭和睦。意大利人对儿子，侄甥或其他近亲晚辈几乎不分亲疏，只要他们是本族晚辈，纵非自己亲生也一视同仁。而无庸讳言，实际上这些晚生也差不多是一回事，因为我们常见某个当侄甥的有时更像其叔叔、舅舅或另一位近亲长辈，而不像他自己的父亲，此乃血气使然也。当父母的应及早选定他们想让孩子从事的职业和相关学业，因孩子越小可塑性越大；同时父母不可过分注重孩子的意向，别以为孩子想做的事他们将来也会喜欢。毫无疑问，若孩子的爱好和才能超凡出众，那当然是不加阻碍为妙；不过对一般人来说，这句格言倒很恰当：选最佳的生活道路，习惯会使那条路走起来轻松愉快。兄弟中为次幼者通常都很幸运，可一旦长兄被剥夺继承权，这种幸运则难以保全甚至不复存在。（2）
（1）见《旧约•箴言》第10章1节。
（2）为弟者自幼便知将来得自食其力，一般都学有所成并具勤俭之风，故曰“幸运”；可他们一旦因继承遗产而富贵，则很容易弃俭从奢。
（曹明伦 译）
论父母与子嗣
父母底欢欣是秘而不宣的，他们底忧愁与畏惧亦是如此。他们底欢欣他们不能说，他们底忧惧他们也不肯说。子嗣使劳苦变甜，但是也使不幸更苦。他们增加人生底忧虑，但是他们减轻关于死亡的记忆。由生殖而传种是动物同有的；但是名声、德行与功业则是人类特有的；而最伟大的事业是从无后嗣的人来的这种事实也是确实可见的；这些人是在他们底躯体底影象无从表现之后努力想表现他们精神底影象的。所以，无后代的人倒是最关心后代的人了。首先树立家业的人们是对于他们底子嗣最为纵容的；他们把子嗣看做不但是本族底继嗣，而且也是自己事业底继续；因此，他们对自己底子嗣与自己所造的事物都是一样的看法。
父母对子嗣之间的慈爱往往是不平均的，而且有时是不合理的。尤其以母亲底爱为然；如所罗门所说：“智慧之子使父亲欢乐，愚昧之子使母亲蒙羞”。常见在一子嗣满堂的家中，有一两个最长的受尊重，还有最幼的受过度的纵容；但是居中的几个则好象被人忘却了似的，而他们却往往成为最好的子嗣。父母在对儿子应给的银钱上吝啬，是一种有害的错误；这使得他们卑贱；使他们学会取巧；使他们与下流人为伍；使他们到了富饶的时候容易贪欲无度。因此为父母者若对他们底子嗣在管理上严密，而在钱包上宽松，则其结果是最好的。人们（父母，师傅，仆役皆然）有一种不智的习惯，就是当弟兄们在童年的时候，在他们之间养成一种的争竞。其结果往往在他们成人的时候，弟兄不和，并且扰乱家庭。意大利人在自己底子女及侄甥或近亲之间无所分别；只要他们是本族，即令非己身所出，亦不介意。说真的，在自然界亦大类此；我们看见有时侄子象伯父或叔父或某位近亲而不甚象自己底父亲，这是血气使然。由此可见以上所言之不谬也。为父母者当及时选择在他们意中他们底子嗣所当从事的职业及训练；因为在那个时候他们最易训导；同时为父母者亦不可过于注意子嗣底倾向，以为他们心中所最好的他们会最为乐就。如果子嗣底所好和能力是超群的，那末最好不要拂逆他，这是真的；但是就一般而言，下面这句话是很好的：就是“选择最好的（职业或训练），习惯会使它成为合适而且容易的”。兄弟中为幼弟者多半结局良好，但假如长兄辈被剥夺或削除继承权，则鲜有或永无如是者矣。
（水天同 译）
